Let’s face it, we women like to stick together.….and we always have. When we were little, we joined clubs like the Brownies and Girl Scouts (or just the Brownies because we didn’t like the ugly green Girl Scout uniform…so sad but true). And when we ran out of clubs to join, we made friendship bracelets or gave gold necklaces with one half of a heart, and we made up our own clubs (BFF Club, Fans of Ralph Macchio -- or were you more of a Rob Lowe girl? -- and I © Bon Jovi. We wore Swatch watches, Rainbow Brite shirts, leg warmers, and stirrup pants (which apparently are back in fashion - GOD FORGIVE US!) all to celebrate our solidarity. In college, although I didn’t join a sorority, I may as well have because I lived with 6 other women (all of whom are still my best friends).

And that doesn’t stop when you become a mom. We love the camaraderie, support, empathy, and friendship of other moms. Talking about our kids, husbands, parents, housework, etc. gives us a sense of purpose, understanding, and belonging. Maybe we won’t easily admit it, but talking to other moms helps us feel validated. While our grandmothers needed only to step out their front doors to connect with other women in the same boat, moms today have to seek it. Maybe that is why we join a book club, Moms Club, Bunco group, church group, fitness club, Moms Time Out, Home & School Association, Facebook, etc.

Perhaps the greatest club I’ve ever heard of was the one my mother-in-law was in for 40+ years. Each month, a group of about 8 women (including 3 Joans, 3 Mary Anns, and 2 Marions) got together at one of their houses; they took turns hosting. They first had a drink and a snack in the living room and then later retired to the dining room, where they had coffee and dessert. They never brought a hostess gift. They did not do any crafts or listen to a demonstration. They never tried to solve any of the world’s problems. Basically, they never varied from their routine. It was exactly the same each time. What was this club called? “Club.” As in “Mom is going to Club tonight.” Not “The Club” - just “Club.“

I have to admit, for the longest time after meeting my husband, I thought the name “Club” was hysterically funny and never quite understood what constituted the “club” part of the get together. But I totally get it now. These women needed to get out of their house and be a part of something unrelated to motherhood. It was a scheduled night out that needed no explanation or approval. They didn’t need an agenda, they just needed friendship. Calling it “Club” probably made it seem legitimate, official, and gave them a sense of belonging.

One more story: A few weeks ago a couple of friends and I took our mothers out for afternoon tea. It was a lovely time - bonding over shared experiences and hearing good stories. At the end, the owner came over to our table and informed us off all the offerings at the tea shop. The one that really made an impression on me was how -- in an attempt to help women start a business -- they hosted office or client meetings for free and even provided private access to WiFi, tea, and scones. The owner said she wants to support women who are trying to do something for themselves - as she put it ‘it’s a man’s world - we women have to stick together!”

She’s right. We women can’t do it alone. No do we want to. The more time I spend talking to other moms, the more I feel validated, supported, and confident in the job I am doing. Feeling like you’re a part of something and that you’re not alone in your thoughts is so important for us moms. It helps to know you’re not alone in this crazy world, and that others have the same values and interests, and are in the same position. It is the reason we women have always been interested in joining something. And it might even be one of the reasons you’re reading this right now If so, welcome to the club!