I have no words to describe my trip to Chicago. I could discuss every detail but I can’t capture the whole experience in words or on paper. I have so much to say about it - not only about how much fun it was, but what the trip did for me (more on this later…). First, our trip in a nutshell: my sister-in-law and I met up with my two friends at the hotel, and we could barely sleep! We got a wake-up call at 4:30 am - showered, dressed, and arrived at Harpo Studios at 6:10 am. After a couple of hours, we were escorted into the studio (how amazing to see it in real life!) and were given the seats closest to Oprah! The show was live and Oprah was so friendly - talking to us before and after the show. I even shook her hand and danced next to her! It was the greatest experience of my life and I will carry the joy of it forever.

But there’s something else I experienced that revolves entirely around a mom I met in Chicago. That mom was Stephanie Meyer, the incredible author of the Twilight series (Team Edward!), who was Oprah’s guest on the show. I am a huge fan (I’ve read all 4 books) and I was so excited about seeing her in person. Well, when she walked onto stage, I was struck by how she could have been any one of us. She looked like any of us, dressed like any of us, and was nervous like any of us would have been. But it was when she began to talk that the most amazing things happened.

She began by telling Oprah that she was a 35-year-old stay-at-home-mom of 3 young children when she began writing Twilight. UMM...SAY WHAT?!?!?!  She reveals that at the time she was burnt out from being a mom and didn’t feel like Stephanie anymore. Then out of nowhere she had a strange dream about a vampire and a girl. The next morning she got the kids ready for school and sat down to write a few notes about her dream. And once she started she couldn’t stop - she said it was a release, “the dam bursting” as she put it, and she “was bottling up who I was for so long, I needed an expression.” When Oprah said she hears all the time how full-time moms lose themselves in the process of raising kids, Stephanie replied that she thinks it’s a necessary part of the process - our kids depend on us for everything, and moms put who we are and our imagination on hold because all our energy is spent on just trying to get through the day.

Then she revealed that she had never written anything in her life, not even a short story, and had never even journaled before! She never thought of becoming a writer, and found it presumptuous to think someone else would want to read the things that were in her head. She said that she was not trying to write a book, she was just trying to reconnect with herself. This was suddenly too strange for me!!! It felt as if was she talking directly to me! (And I wondered how many other moms that were watching were thinking the same thing.) Her words spoke to me on so many levels: we were the exact same age, both home full-time raising 3 kids. We were both feeling a loss of identity and the need to reconnect with ourselves. We both had never written a thing, but out of nowhere started putting pen to paper to document private thoughts that were in our heads.

The magic doesn’t end there. After the show we took our newly gifted Twilight boxed sets (Thanks, Oprah!) across the street to the Oprah Store for an autograph. When it was my turn, I told Stephanie about the similarities in our lives, and how much I admired her for stepping out and expressing herself. Then I somehow mustered the courage to mention my blog (and even wrote it down for her!). I told her how I began writing to reconnect with myself and encourage other moms to do the same. I shared with her the joy it was bringing me, and she looked me right in the eyes and sincerely replied “it will make you a better mom.”

And at that moment, I never felt more sure about the direction my life is taking. Starting my blog has been an amazing experience for me and has ignited a new sense of purpose and fulfillment for me. And at that moment, I realized that trying to be the best ME is also making me the best MOM to my kids. The two are not mutually exclusive; we do not have to choose our happiness over our kids’ happiness and vice versa. We don’t do one at the expense of the other. It is not an either/or situation…a balancing act of taking from our cup to full their cup. It is the exact opposite. We most certainly can and should have both. The gift of our own personal joy and wellness is also a gift for our children. And as Stephanie pointed out, taking time to reconnect with ourselves will make us better moms. Thank you Stephanie for the “light bulb” moment.

We wrapped up our trip with deep-dish pizza, pitchers of beer, a day of shopping and glasses of champagne at the Signature Lounge at the 96^th, watching the city lights shimmer in the night sky. I felt young and free and really, really happy. But when I landed back at Newark Airport and spotted my Minivan -- I suddenly felt nothing but the pure, unadulterated  joy of being a mom. J